Why My Ex is My Ex

“I’ll tell you how much I love you, then the minute we break up, im gonna try to hook up with all your bestfriends, including your family, because I got ‘swag.’”

“A technique in a comedy for getting through fights works in the show? Let’s try it in real life!”

“I’m not immature, petty, or dramatic. I’ll just keep a tumblr dedicated to how I feel about you, starting shortly after our break-up, and keep it over a year, even though I have a new boyfriend.”

Additional submission text:
“I hate you!! Here are some pictures of your stuff I smashed and some threats to joyfully harm you. You’re an asshole. HAHA! No, wait, I miss you and love you so much, and we were perfect together. How could you have moved on to someone else? Why does everyone mistreat me? I know you’ll come back to me. …Wait, what new boyfriend? I love YOU.”

“I’m not bi anymore. I just love you.”

*After we break up, a month later*

“Julie is now in a relationship with Sarah.”

Jerkface.

Text Message: “Hey, I like you and I think you like me too, if not, then I hope we can still be friends”

Text Message (on two year anniversary): “I’m sorry but, I think I realized we’re better as friends and I just want to be single for a while, hope that’s cool.”

[he started sleeping with, then dating, my [now ex] best friend 3 hours later]

“Hey, I like this other girl, but can we still be together until I find out if she likes me back or not?”

“So you want to date after we’ve spent a few weeks making out and fooling around? Sorry, I can’t. You’re like a brother to me.”

“Immaturity turns you off? I’ll just stamp my foot and give you the silent treatment every time I get mad about something moronic.”